Captain Midnight here with another message for all super-dog fans.
I’ve been off the radar for a few weeks while I’ve been recuperating from a war wound. But I’m getting back into shape now and I’m raring to go. Today I got into training by chasing a hare. I could have caught it if I’d really wanted to. But it was only a practice run so I let the poor beast get away.
Himself stumbled after me over the field, puffing and panting like an old cart horse yelling: “Teddy come back.” Of course, I ignored him but I’m glad there weren’t any other super-dogs around to hear. He’s got no idea really. What an embarrassment!
As you can see from the picture, I’ve injured my tail. It happened as I single-pawedly saved the planet from a massive invasion of Zombie Cats from Mars. I’d seen most of them off but wave after wave just kept coming and eventually two or three hundred piled on top of me and began gnawing at my tail….
Well, OK. That’s not strictly accurate.
I didn’t want to tell you but actually it was his fault. When we got back from France he said I was scruffy. Can you believe it? At least my hair’s still growing. He took me to the G.R.O.O.M.E.R.S.
No, I don’t know how it’s pronounced. He always spells it out.
Anyway as he left the building I was immediately captured by two operatives in white overalls who took me down to the torture chamber in the cellar. First came the water-boarding, which the operatives called S.H.A.M.P.O.O.I.N.G. Then out came the sharp instruments.
Snip. Snip. Ouch.
Tail in tatters. Blood everywhere.
I kept a stiff upper muzzle and told them nothing. Then they panicked and took me to a Field Hospital where some medic from Band of Brothers shot me full of morphine and put my tail in a sling. He smuggled me out and sent me back from the line for some well-earned R&R.
At first, they thought they might have to remove a bit of my tail but it’s healing pretty well now so there’s a good chance the bandages can come off soon and I can get back to my duties, in one piece.
Himself says I’ve been a very lucky dog.
Oh you poor little thing! Although I am long haired and have a beautiful coat I have managed to avoid going to the G.R.O.O.M.E.R.S ever and actually mainly avoid getting brushed at all although sometimes she tricks me and I have to succumb to having parts of me brushed but never my rear end which as you will realise is totally sacred (in the most secular way) for a woman dog (I cant bring myself to say bitch.) Sometimes she uses his beard clippers on my front and paws because they think I get too hot in the summer. But oh dear, poor Captain, having your tail snipped. Terrible terrible and not in the French meaning. Anyway, I wish you a speedy recovery and I was so impressed with your attitude towards Hares. They are very special people you know, rabbits are ok of course in fact my cat sometimes brings one into the house for me to eat. Hasta la vista, old chap,
love Freya xxx
PS You will have a tale to tell. Hahahaha x
PPS Why don’t you get him to contact my people so we could all get together and you could show me you chasing expertise and your paw tail. They could of course have a glass of wine or something to eat! They said their tellingbone number is 01452720934.