3 comments on “Unseen

  1. This really made me think, Geoff. As someone who has recently separated from my husband of 33 years, I am also acclimatising to living alone, but In my case it is also accompanied by a feeling of liberation. To feel unseen inside a relationship is much worse than being physically unseen because it began to affect the way I saw myself. I felt what he saw was not who I was, but who he wanted to see, and I am not sure I ever really saw him clearly. Now that I am alone again, I have also started to see myself as I used to be, and am rediscovering many of the things I liked about myself but that I felt were unacceptable to him. It feels as though for many years I suppressed important parts of myself and I am sure the same was true for him. People say living with someone ‘knocks your corners off’ but I realise I like people with corners. It sounds as if you were very lucky that Chris accepted you as your were, with all your corners, as you did her. As I get older I am inclining more and more to the HIndu view that this is a time of life when one needs to spend more time on gaining self-knowledge – though you seem to have a huge amount of that already. Your clarity about your feelings and your ability to express them so movingly is breathtaking. I feel as if I see you very clearly.

  2. Thank you Umi. There is much wisdom in your words. I didn’t know you had separated after such a long relationship. I wish you very well in 2016. May you express all those unexpressed parts of yourself that have been longing to get out!

  3. Thank you, Geoff and Umi, for both of your writing. I like the thought that this is the time of life for self-knowledge, very much (it takes some of the sting away that says, “Why didn’t I figure this out long before now?!) And Geoff, all you say about how profoundly Chris saw you, and how very much you miss that, goes right to the heart of my relationship with Michael and fear of this someday vanishing. As with all your posts, I feel your heart and soul in this, and such incredible honesty.

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