Coming Home to Story

Sunday 18 June

Captain Midnight here, reporting from a very pleasant campsite near Blarney Castle.

I’m pleased to say that we are back on the road after a bit of an unplanned interlude last week. Hedda and Himself spent Thursday fishing on the Blackwater and while she (nearly) caught a salmon, Himself caught salmonella.

That’s right, the Eejit managed to poison himself with a dodgy sausage and ended up in hospital for 24 hours. Oxygen, saline drip, the whole shebang!

Needless to say, Herself and I were magnificent. She stayed by his side while he was looked after by the nice doctors and nurses in Accident and Emergency, while I selflessly allowed Glenda our fishing guide to take me home to stay with her family and pamper me mercilessly for a couple of days.

It should be noted however that I did administer first aid when Himself collapsed on the riverbank. I snuggled up to keep him safe and warm until Glenda and Herself discovered what had happened and hot footed it along the path to take over.

I don’t quite see what all the fuss was about. If I eat something bad I just throw up and carry on. But Himself was carted off at high speed to Cork University Hospital where, as far as I can gather, he pretty much slept for a day and a half while everybody else did all the work.

If Himself had given me the sausage in the first place, as I suggested at the time, he would have kept out of trouble and my superior digestive system would have dealt with the offending item.

Let’s hope he learns from his mistake.

PS: Himself has graciously stirred from his daybed in the camper van long enough to make sure I tell you that our fishing guide, Glenda Powell is an absolute star, for whose speedy and determined help he will be eternally grateful.