Coming Home to Story

They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Himself still tries to go round the other side of the lamppost when he’s out on the lead; he still thinks he can have roast chicken without giving half of it to me; and he still keeps chucking balls all over the place after I bring them back to him. Nothing new there… but recently he’s demonstrated yet another proverbial failure to learn.

He can’t even lick his own nose!

It’s in the middle of his face just like mine. Extend the tongue and let it glide over the upper lip to the nostrils. How hard can it be? I showed him exactly what to do, but he complained that his wouldn’t reach, which is surprising considering how much he likes the sound of his own tongue wagging.

I suppose it could just be a physiological deficiency (of which humans have many) but I’m inclined to think that advancing years have diminished his capacity for learning of any kind. Even so, I’m not ready to give up yet and have booked us onto a Train Your Human evening class.

The instructor has recommended that I invest in some training treats. I’ve noticed that Himself will do almost anything for a glass of good single malt whisky but I’m going to stick to cubes of dried liver, ox hide chews and venison flavoured biscuits because that’s the kind of stuff he tries to win me over with when he wants me to do something new.

What’s good for the goose…

Photographs courtesy of Maaike Verhoeven