Captain Midnight here, recovering after a slight mishap.
There it was on the kitchen table: half a bar of Green and Black’s best organic chocolate; 70% Cocoa. I’d watched Himself eat a bit and he’d clearly enjoyed it. He was busy on the computer nearby. Then someone came to the front door and he got up to speak to them.
I’m not sure whether it was eating the chocolate I enjoyed most or shredding the wrapper on the living room carpet. Either way, Himself was not best pleased. I’d sort of expected that, but what I didn’t know was that eating chocolate makes you sick.
Suffice to say that half an hour later after a rather hectic car journey, the local vet shoved something unpleasant down my throat and pretty soon I was throwing up all over the place. They actually seemed pleased to find big lumps of undigested chocolate among the mess. I would have had a go at eating it again but they wouldn’t let me near it. Waste of good chocolate, I say.
I felt a bit woozy when we got home yesterday, but I’m fine now.
Himself told me he was sorry he’d left the chocolate lying around and that I’d had a narrow escape. Apparently chocolate is poison for dogs, especially the dark stuff. I heard him talking to Herself about it on the phone later.
“I expect Captain Midnight has learned his lesson,” she said.
“No, but I have,” said Himself. “Next time I’ll eat the lot.”
It wasn’t the most heartwarming response to a narrowly averted canine tragedy. But what can you expect in this class-ridden, doggist society?
It’s the same the whole world over,
It’s the poor what gets the blame,
It’s the rich what gets the pleasure,
Ain’t it all a blooming shame?